Stuff I’m into – March edition

In an attempt to spruce my blog up, I’m going to be posting lil update posts at the end of each month! Reviews are all very well but at the snail-like pace I produce them, it ends up looking a bit abandoned around here. Shabby. Not-so-great.

It’ll be stuff I’m into, stuff I’m not into, mini reviews, general bits and bobs…expect a lot more in April’s post because I pulled this one together at the last minute; realising you can’t put up any of the pictures you wanted to because literally all of them have your identifying features in (I love that, it makes me sound like a really shit spy) or you’ve already plastered them everywhere else is a punch to the gut like no other. Remind me not to be so vain in future?

sqnk  sqbg
sqlx  sqrb
sqdp  sqdld
a- I found my camera! and the battery! then lost the battery, again / b- I’ve reached new and more pretentious art hoe heights / c- a set of beautiful but unsafe rose quartz butt beads from luxotiq; I emailed them about this and they never responded. 0/10, would not recommend / d- a very rosebuddy rosebud / e- dick pic courtesy of the tantus pack n play 02 / f- super nut. super. nut. that dildo is the lovehoney beaded glass one and it is fantastic.

Other, less nsfw stuff I was into this month – Oatly non-dairy milk, suede everything, banana pancakes, learning how to ride a bike again and only scraping my knees five times, alien plaits, good real-life work things, Anna’s ginger thins, these socks, my brand new boots, my brand new email, my brand new haircut.

Oh, and in terms of bloggy things, there’ll be a new review of the Durex Sensual Bliss massager up in the next few days (a cute purple ufo) and then the Divine Interventions Jackhammer Jesus after that, maybe a quickie post on glass toys and I’ve a post on strapless strapons in the works but I doubt that’ll be completed very soon…

And finally, some timely offers –

  • Tantus have international shipping for either $9.95 or $19.95 until the 19th of May.
  • Tantus have also brought back the Clover for a limited time, which is an adorable shimmery pink dildo with a vibrator slot; someone please buy one so I can live vicariously through you. It’s only $29.99!
  • Fun Factory recently released some new bullet covers! They’re cute and lumpy and ever-so-slightly overpriced. Ooooh! And the Stronic Drei comes in black now. Sorta looks like a Godzilla peen.
  • There’s a long, double ended silicone dildo in blue (proper sky blue!) on sale for £17.50 in the Lovehoney sale.
  • Aaand to tie it all up with a pretty bow – if you’ve a jelly toy burning a melty, sticky hole in your toolbox, Crystal Delights are giving you 25% off if you destroy one and send them a picture of the gory evidence. I honestly don’t see a single downside to this.

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 Happy Spring! 

Review – Lelo Siri 2

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The Lelo Siri 2 is hereeee! I got mine way back in January and about, er, two? choppy paragraphs praising it have been languishing in my drafts ever since with not very much progress being made. I always find it inordinately difficult to write about stuff I actually just plain like; I’m happiest writing clumsy sonnets for buttplugs.

The Siri 2 is an upgrade from Lelo’s old Siri; the new version is smaller and sleeker, “100% more powerful than the original”, waterproofed, and sadly doesn’t come in the lovely bright red of the original; just purple, pink, and black this time round. Oh yeah, and it has a sound responsive mode. Get off while you get down? I – I don’t know.

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Size comparison – medium njoy pure plug vs Rosebud princess plugs

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I’ve already posted these on all my social media bits so it seemed right to post it here too; someone in my comments section wanted a comparison of the medium njoy pure plug and the small and large Julian Snelling Rosebuds, so I snapped these!

Size breakdown –

Medium njoy pure plug – 4 inches in circumference at the widest point and 1.7 inches long, curved stem measures 1.5 inches long and is 1 inch in circumference at the thickest part (at the top). Base is 2.5 inches long.

Large JS Rosebud plug – 4 inches in circumference at the widest point and 2 inches long, straight stem measures just under 1 inch in both length and circumference. Base is just over an inch across.

Small JS Rosebud – 3 inches in circumference at the widest point and 1.5 inches long, straight stem measures 0.8 inches long and is too slim to accurately measure around but I got 0.8 inches. Base is an inch across.

If long term wear is your jam then I’d opt for the njoy pure plug, and if it’s a strictly masturbation/sex only plug you’re lookin’ for I’d go for the large Julian Snelling Rosebud plug. The bases on the Rosebuds are beautiful but they aren’t super comfortable, and as I detailed in my princess plug size guide, the small is so tiny (and adorable!) that I’d only recommend it to absolute butt beginners who know they’re not going to want to size up in future. I would also advise against rough penetrative sex with the small plug because the base has a gradual curve going on that the other sizes don’t, and I’ve read one too many reviews where it’s slipped inside someone.

You can snag yourself an njoy pure plug from Desires of The I-D, ShevibeLovehoney UK or Lovehoney US, and a Rosebuds by Julian Snelling princess plug from Lovehoney.

Review – njoy pure plug (medium)

njoyStainless steel toys (specifically, njoy toys) are a funny thing. For the longest time I had this image of them as impossible to conquer, something to only attempt if you’re Someone Who Knows What They’re Doing, firm and unforgiving and almost always prohibitively expensive. I should just stick to silicone, I thought. Silicone’s safe. Silicone’s familiar. I know where I stand with silicone.

In case you’re still under that impression, it’s a crock of shite. Stainless steel is now my favourite medium for butt stuff, and my other toys are relegated to serf status compared to the slavish devotion my metal plugs are treated to. Only the best padded bags and display cases for you, my liege!

The njoy pure plug (medium!) is no exception, and it’s taken pride of place next to my bed since the day it arrived. It’s not as flashy as some of my other plugs but it’s strangely beautiful, looking like a glob of molten solder with that impossible to photograph mirror shine and weirdly sexy organic shape. I think it’s sexy, anyway; I showed it to a friend and she said it looked like a ‘a keyring’ but clearly she’s just not as aesthetically evolved as I am.

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