Review – Icicles No 24 tentacle glass dildo

tenta5The tentacle was my first glass toy and as much as I adore this thing, I wish I’d chosen something else. See, when I bought it I wasn’t that aware of how little give glass has – like, duh, obviously, it’s fucking glass – but having never held a glass toy in real life and having only a minimal idea of how heavy and firm they are, I went ahead and bought it anyway because #yolo, I guess.

As soon as I got it out of the box (which I don’t have anymore, but anyone familiar with Pipedream’s other vibrators, dildos, etc, will know what they look like – they’re very handy and I wish I’d kept mine) I was lovestruck. The beautiful translucent pink, the attention to detail, the whole thing was just awe-inspiring. And of course, all of that went to hell when I tried to use it and realised I’d bitten off way more than I could chew. It hurt, it was uncomfortable, I banished it back to its box and it sat in storage for months. Until I bought another, much smoother, glass dildo, and then another, this time a slightly curved one, and another, this time one with a lumpy bumpy graduated shaft. And I decided to give it a go again.

Lelo Ida review: I really didn’t want to write this.

LELO2The Lelo Ida was very kindly sent to me by the angels over at Lovehoney for review.

This is a very long review. Very long. Like, 1000+ words long, so please, please read it. I spent more time on this review than I’ve spent on some essays, I spent more time stressing about a sex toy than I’ve spent stressing about academic work, can we just let that sink in for a sec? Couple’s toys like this seem to be an incredibly divisive thing, judging from the reviews I’ve read about the We-Vibe(s) and the Tiani, and some people hate them, and some absolutely can’t-live-without-them adore them. My review falls into the former camp.I am a huge, huge fan of Lelo toys, like, I’m a little bit fanatical about them. My Gigi was one of the first toys I ever bought so that’s probably why I have such an unwavering loyalty to them – I think I’ve already mentioned in previous reviews that I’m definitely not a power queen so Lelo’s slightly subtler vibrations are perfect for me. I love ’em. I really do. And this, coupled with my bizarre urge to smooth over everything bad (‘c’mon guys, it’s just a sprain! it’ll heal itself! what do you mean you can see the bone, don’t be daft, i feel fine!’) made writing this review a lil bit of an upsetting experience for me.

Just to reiterate – this is hella long, mostly waffle, and if you’re only interested in my experience using it solo, with toys, with my girlfriend, or with a male partner, please ctrl+f for either SOLO/TOYS/FEM/HET, whichever one you’re interested in, or you can just scroll down until you see the capitals. You do you, I won’t judge.

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Bondage Boutique Clear PVC Ball Gag review

I purchased this gag from Lovehoney, along with the matching clear PVC cuffs that I reviewed recently.

 

I’ve never really been into ballgags, I prefer using O-ring gags or a nice bit gag or even a makeshift gag made out of a strip of silk or a tie with knots in the middle. I have a slightly irrational fear of having my teeth pulled out or moved around, brought on by a freak childhood accident where I fell flat on my face and knocked one of my (baby teeth, thankfully) front teeth out. Nothing’s quite as character building as being nicknamed ‘gappy’ by your classmates until the new one grew in. Anyway. Having a hard rubber ball strapped into my mouth behind my teeth isn’t exactly the most appealing idea in the world to me, thanks to that, but I decided to try one out for size. Please bear in mind that due to this I’m pretty much a total beginner to ballgags – I’ve worn them a few times in the past but only for about half an hour each time.

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Bondage Boutique Clear PVC Wrist Cuffs review

I saw these on Lovehoney a couple of months ago and basically started drooling right there on the spot. I’m not kidding. I’m really picky about my bondage equipment – I prefer rope over anything but it takes a while to set up, I don’t usually like black or black x hot pink or black x red or any of those old tired colour combinations,  I don’t like anything with a velcro fastening, brown leather’s nice but hard to get hold of, and I dream of having a full set of solid stainless steel restraints and a collar but I just don’t have the money for it. I’d seen clear pvc cuffs and collars before but they were a bit out of my budget, so when these came up on my screen I just about ascended to the heavens right there. Take my money!

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