Review – Tantus Curve dildo & harness kit

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How long have I been after the Tantus Curve for? Like two years? I wanted one well before I started blogging about sex toys, and it was one of the first things that made it onto my first big proper wishlist, the first one I made that was free of luminescent jelly rubber whatsits. And finalllllly, I’ve got my hands on one – the folks at Tantus sent me the Curve kit.

The Curve surprised me on a couple of levels. I didn’t expect it to be as firm as it is, for one thing; I like my detachable dicks to be on the softer, floppier side (see the Pack & Play 02 & anything Vixskin) but this only has the slightest bit of flex to it. Forgiving is not a word I’d use to describe it, especially with just under 5 inches of girth, those ridges, and the pointed tip that occasionally jabs me in the cervix when I get carried away. It does have a lovely velvety finish though, which reduces drag and doesn’t soak up lube like a sponge, unlike some of my softer dildos.

The Curve was mediocre the first few times I used it. Bordering on unlikable, actually. One of those things where you think it might get better but it doesn’t – sorta like that time I went home with a guy I really fancied and he made me watch two episodes of the Big Bang Theory and when we finally got down to it he was pressing a solid inch away from the important bits even when I told him and moved his hand BUT ANYWAY, I DIGRESS. It was okay. The orgasms were more imagination than anything. C’est la vie. Not everything can be great all the time.

It’s not all bad though, and the Curve has grown on me in the time I’ve had it. I’ve adapted my technique a little. Thicker lube, shallower and faster thrusts, and flipping it around so the most pronounced part of the curve is facing upwards make for perfectly satisfactory orgasms, and the feel of the ridges rolling backwards and forwards is unique (in a good way, not in a backhanded compliment typa way). If I want some extra girth but don’t feel like warming up then this is what I’ll reach for. The harness, though? Uhhhh.

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The harness is okay-ish. I’m pretty neutral on it; it’s a basic sportsheets one with a jock back that leaves your butt exposed (wahey!), adjustable nylon straps, a triangle of leather to prevent the base of your dildo pushing too hard into your crotch – I removed this, sorry – or sticking and sweating, and a switchable o-ring. Just undo the poppers around it, take out the original, stick your new one in there, and re-attach the poppers around it. Easy as pie, even if you’re a total beginner.

It’s highly adjustable, apparently fitting up to 60 inch hips, but I found it a little toooo adjustable – literally every time I’d use it, the thigh/backside straps would loosen to the point that it was distracting and I kept having to redo them. Maybe the buckles on mine are broken? I persevered until I could persevere no more and ended up switching it for the very lovely SpareParts Bella, which offers slightly less control but at least I don’t have to keep stopping because my harness has evidently had enough of my shit and is attempting a speedy getaway. Strap on, indeed.

All of this makes me pretty sad. The Curve deserves better than this tangly, strappy, moody nylon jockstrap because it’s a miracle of strap-on banging engineering; it’s one of the best things I’ve fucked with and been fucked with in a while. The ridges on the Curve become more pronounced with the weight of someone else behind them to the point that they seem to vibrate. It is near-impossible to act passive towards the Curve. It makes me sweat; I genuinely look forward to getting fucked with it. I don’t mean in general, I’m talking about this one gentle hook of shimmery purple silicone.

I would absolutely recommend the Tantus Curve to anyone who likes using harnesses and values a little extra girth and firmness, but unfortunately I can’t recommend buying the kit itself unless you’re in deeply desperate need because the harness that comes in it is kind of trash. Luckily, Tantus sells a bunch of beautiful leather harnesses, and if you’ve less cash to flash then they also have the vibrating velvet harness. Everybody wins!

The nice folks at Tantus sent me this kit in exchange for my review! You can buy it at any of these lovely retailers below –

Tantus (dildo only), Tantus (kit) | Lovehoney (dildo only) | Shevibe (dildo only), Shevibe (kit) | Lovehoney US (dildo only)

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