Like many girls, I got my first sex tips from women’s magazines.
I learned how to stand to appear thinner when naked.
I learned which positions put my sexiest body parts on display.
I learned hundreds of ways I should touch a penis, whether I liked it or not.
Sex sounded grown-up and exciting, but also scary – though I couldn’t pinpoint why.
I totally see why now, though. It sounded like sex would make me an object – like once I walked through the door of a man’s (it was always presumed to be a man’s) bedroom, I’d leave my humanity on the other side of it.
Actually having sex as a teenager was equally confusing.
I wanted to be my partners’ hot, sexy lover and their fellow human, but it always felt like I had to pick one.
When I tried to be both, they’d punish me for it.
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