The 15 most bizarre sex tips from the Victorian era

Giving weird and terrible sex advice is one of our favorite pastimes, but these “conjugal passions” take the cake

Dispensing inaccurate and terrible sex advice is a notion that’s as American as Kellogg’s cornflakes (which was invented to thwart masturbation, as we will soon discuss). From the idea that “trotting a horse” prevented pregnancy to the belief that wind patterns during conception affected your offspring’s temperament, the Victorian Era’s tracts, texts, and common wisdoms were rife with laughable gender roles and sexual expectations. Below are some of our favorite tidbits on “conjugal passions.”

1. Uterine suction prevents rape

In 2012, Missouri Senate candidate and Republican Todd Akin told a television station that women can’t get pregnant from “legitimate rape” because “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” We wonder if Akin got this absurd notion from brushing up on medical tracts from the ‘50s — the 1850s, that is. French physiologist Eugene Becklard, M.D., wrote a sex book for the masses, with a title as hard to swallow as the advice itself. “Becklard’s Physiology: Physiological mysteries and revelations in love, courtship and marriage: an infallible guide-book for married and single persons, in matters of the utmost importance to the human race.”

In the book, Becklard states: “The mouth of the uterus, be it known, is very narrow, so narrow in fact, that the fecundating principle would not enter it, but that it craves it, and inhales it by real suction — a proof, by the way, that a rape can never be productive of real offspring.”

The uterus: storing fetuses and sucking out rape since 1850!

2. Orgasm contests

Becklard also believed that, when trying to conceive, the child would turn out more like whoever had the best orgasm. “[T]he party whose temperament predominates in the child was in the highest state of orgasm at the period of intercourse.”

Read full article on Salon