Category Archives: steel

dildo queen of my world reviews steel

Review – njoy Pure Wand


I am not the biggest fan of my vag.

I like other people’s. I like most vaginas – I think they’re great! They’re magical! They’re like flowers, or oysters! There’s a Georgia O’Keeffe print in the bathroom! But I have gender feelings about mine, big bad weird ugly gender feelings, and there’s no amount of ‘but look how pretty’ (validation via only ‘prettiness’ is not the way I want to go about anything in my life, but thanks) and ‘the human body is incredible’ (blech) that can make those go away.

But if anything’s going to make me happy that I have one, it’s the Pure Wand.

The njoy Pure Wand is a sleek curve of stainless steel that’s a pain in the butt to photograph and weighs in at a hefty 1.5lbs, or 680g – think a jar of golden syrup. It’s been carefully weighted and each end has a different circumference, the bigger bulb being 4.5 inches around and the smaller measuring 3.25 around. Completely smooth with a mirror shine – except for the njoy logo, which I think is in a brushed steel finish? – it’s a beautiful piece of work, and could probably do some serious damage if you were to drop it on your foot. Don’t do that.

STORYTIME – before I really begin, I feel like I kind of to have to mention squirting in some capacity* here as this has been touted time and time again as some kind of divining rod for prostates and g-spots alike. I don’t squirt. I’ve done it twice, hated it, and I have no interest in doing it again. This is a non-negotiable thing. I’m sure the Pure Wand is more than capable of making me squirt again, it definitely feels like it could – but I can’t help anyone with that. Sorry fronds.

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butt stuff reviews steel

Review – Julian Snelling small steel Rosebud plug


I’ve wanted a princess plug for years. It’s like a fixation. I’ve been looking for an affordable option for what seems like forever and who’d have thought? I stumbled onto the Rosebud’s website (did you know that their range was so vast? because I didn’t) and guess who was having a sale! Within 5 days of picking out my colour and paying that €21,50 + €9 shipping from France, a brown cardboard box landed on my doormat.

My plug came in a tiny little velvet bag, which I have of course managed to break the drawstring on and cover in miscellaneous fluff in the month or so I’ve had it. The plug itself is TEENY. I know this is the ‘small’ version (from what I can gather, Rosebud plugs come in four sizes- small, large, XL and XXL) but this is truly pocket size. It’s shorter than a lipbalm tube, has a reassuring weight to it, and while being smaller than I thought it was, it’s my favourite shape for a plug to be, with an almost lollipop-like bulb, a tapered tip, a long skinny neck and a flared base.

I’ve never actually lost something up my butt, but I’ve read enough cautionary tales and had enough gruesome stories told to me by a pal who’s training to be a nurse to be extra super cautious; I pretty much view buttholes as distant, organic relatives of vacuum cleaners at this point.

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