I am not the biggest fan of my vag.
I like other people’s. I like most vaginas – I think they’re great! They’re magical! They’re like flowers, or oysters! There’s a Georgia O’Keeffe print in the bathroom! But I have gender feelings about mine, big bad weird ugly gender feelings, and there’s no amount of ‘but look how pretty’ (validation via only ‘prettiness’ is not the way I want to go about anything in my life, but thanks) and ‘the human body is incredible’ (blech) that can make those go away.
But if anything’s going to make me happy that I have one, it’s the Pure Wand.
The njoy Pure Wand is a sleek curve of stainless steel that’s a pain in the butt to photograph and weighs in at a hefty 1.5lbs, or 680g – think a jar of golden syrup. It’s been carefully weighted and each end has a different circumference, the bigger bulb being 4.5 inches around and the smaller measuring 3.25 around. Completely smooth with a mirror shine – except for the njoy logo, which I think is in a brushed steel finish? – it’s a beautiful piece of work, and could probably do some serious damage if you were to drop it on your foot. Don’t do that.
STORYTIME – before I really begin, I feel like I kind of to have to mention squirting in some capacity* here as this has been touted time and time again as some kind of divining rod for prostates and g-spots alike. I don’t squirt. I’ve done it twice, hated it, and I have no interest in doing it again. This is a non-negotiable thing. I’m sure the Pure Wand is more than capable of making me squirt again, it definitely feels like it could – but I can’t help anyone with that. Sorry fronds.
The day my Pure Wand arrived (I was very emotional) I wasn’t as productive with it as I’d like to have been – usually I like to use things the second I get them, but it was cold outside. And the steel was freezing. And there was no hot water. Rainy days in England have this incredible effect on the body where you feel instantly miserable as soon as you’re under that grey sky, and the furthest thing on my mind was wanking. But eventually the weather got warmer – unbearably warm – and as it turns out, a sunny day with a clear blue sky and a sharp chill is the best kind of weather for stuffing yourself full of steel.
The bigger bulb seems to be what most people use but I’ve not really been able to get along with it; it feels too big, unwieldy, too heavy, uncomfortable, bulky. It’s the same feeling I get when I haven’t warmed up properly and I’m trying to use something internally – except it feels like that aaaaaaaall the time. It’s very possible that this is just a learning curve I have yet to master, but for now the big end is relegated to other people’s vaginas and for the odd shoulder/leg massage.
The little end though, oh god, I don’t know how it does it but it does it so well. It’s like a heat-seeking missile for g-spot stimulation; all I have to do is apply a little bit of lube, nudge it upwards and rock it back and forth. My g-spot’s shallow but placed higher up, and the Pure Wand finds it and basically hammers it into submission in the best kind of way – like, I paired it with the We-Vibe Touch and was completely unable to walk afterwards. It’s that good. The only downside is that after relentlessly banging away at my vagina with a pound and a half of steel my arm starts to hurt and I sometimes have to admit defeat; but luckily for me I have a girlfriend whose arms are considerably stronger than mine and who really likes watching me bite the pillow.
Getting a Pure Wand has also managed to increase my all-consuming lust for a Pure plug tenfold; if this feels good in my butt, then what’s a Pure plug going to feel like? How well crafted is that going to be? It’s so smooth that I don’t need that much warmup, and it does something that only my large Rosebud plug has done before (and that’s only if I lie on my back & pull my knees up) – it stimulates my g-spot. It feels even more intense, if that’s possible, although I still prefer it in my vag.
I love the Pure Wand. I am a convert. There isn’t a position it doesn’t feel good in, although I think it feels the best on my hands and knees, or on my back with my legs pulled up. It can be used with any lubricant, it’s easy to clean, it comes with a storage box, it’s gonna last me forever and it can be brought to my favourite temperature by soaking it in a sink of warm water. I’m a bit scared it’s going to replace all my other insertable toys, if I’m honest, but I love it so much I almost don’t care. Engrave ‘apricot 4 njoy’ in a heart on a tree, because I am in looooooooove.
* hahahahahhahaah capacity