The big bad belated blogiversary bonanza (alt title: not another sex toy giveaway)

lilheartSo. My blog technically had its birthday way back at the start of the month, but because I’m poorly organised I’m celebrating it now with a giveaway! I don’t want to get creepy or overly sappy but it’s been really cool – although I’ve done some monumentally stupid shit, like choosing to go self-hosted on Christmas eve and still not using a proper camera. On the other hand, I’ve made friends with some lovely people from around the world, seriously debated getting a tattoo of my favourite sex toy (I’m still thinking about this actually), put some weird stuff inside me, put some great stuff inside me, got to answer questions from people who decided I was the person to go to for help – god knows why, but it’s flattering – and generally had a pretty fantastic time.

On to the fun stuff – thanks to some incredible companies, I’ve been able to put this together and give away some things I really love to you guys. Thankyou Tantus, Lovehoney, and Fun Factory!

This giveaway is open worldwide with restrictions, so please make sure to read everything and only enter things you’re eligible for! Also, as I’m posting all of this lot myself it’d be really cool if people could make a concious effort to click on my banners/links and buy through those.



A violet Fun Factory ShareVibe; I reviewed this here about two weeks ago and it’s the best strapless strap-on I’ve ever tried – even the bullet that comes with it is pretty great. I am well and truly enamoured and if I had my way everyone would have a perky purple appendage to play with.

A pair of RodeoH PKG shorts in black, these are the shortie version of the PKG briefs I reviewed a while back now. They’re snug, secure and supportive enough for most mid-size dicks, slightly more high-waisted than the briefs and comfy enough to wear under your clothes for all your stealthy sexy needs. They’re a size 30-32 but the nice people at Lovehoney have assured me that it can be sorted if you’re not that size, so if you’re not a 30-32 but you are a size Lovehoney stock then feel free to enter!

Aaaand a large Julian Snelling stainless steel Rosebud plug with a super-sparkly clear crystal. This is my favourite buttplug ever and somehow I haven’t got around to reviewing it properly yet, but I’m borderline fanatical about everything I have from Rosebuds (they’re vastly superior to the cheap knockoffs, I have a post on this sitting in my drafts) and so, so, so happy to be able to give a favourite like this away. I know the ‘large’ might scare people off but it’s more of a medium if anything, and just…perfect, really. Shiny and smooth and delightfully weighty.

Huge, huge, huge thankyou to Lovehoney for sending me these to give away! The RodeoH can be sent worldwide but the Rosebud and ShareVibe are EU only due to their weight, unless you can chip in a little for shipping – in which case put your entry in, and if you decide to do this I’ll contact you at the end of the giveaway.


The lovely people at Fun Factory were kind enough to send me one of each of their new silicone SmartVibe vibrator line – Jam, Jazzie, and Joupie, in blue, black, and red, respectively. I’m kind of jealous; I have a Jam travelling to me but the other two look interesting too…maybe I’ll treat myself to them if I get through this giveaway without my brain dissolving and dribbling onto the floor like so many strawberry slushpuppies.

These are open worldwide – if you’re in the UK I can send you the batteries as well but if you’re outside of the UK I won’t be able to. Sorry!


And finally, some kink bits! There’s something for everyone in here, I think.

10m of hemp rope from Lovehoney’s bondage boutique line – I think this was my second ever rope purchase? It’s delightfully bitey so maybe not for people who are very sensitive or who prefer sleeker ropes. I prefer using this for restraints purposes as opposed to making harnesses and things with.

A pair of the meanest metal nipple sticks from the Dominix line. These look fairly innocuous but they’re so intense I’ve had to pass my pair on to a friend who likes nipple torture because they’re too much for me most of the time, going from a gentle pressure to a sharp, hot pinch. Fun fact: they’re especially ouch-y if you hold a wand vibrator to them.

My much-beloved heart cutout slapper paddle from the Dominix line! This is made from smooth leather, leaves lovely splashy pink marks and is as cute or as cruel as you want it to be.

And a Tantus Pelt paddle. This is my favourite spanking implement in the world and the absolute angels over at Tantus were sweet enough to send me one to give away to a lucky somebody. Made from a thick slice of matte black silicone, it has a lot of bend, a lot of slap and a lot of sting, is responsible for countless giant purple bruises and satisfies even the most needy of thud sluts. Someone’s going to get one. I’m so excited.

Lots of thankyous to Lovehoney and Tantus, and all of these are open worldwide! Hooray.

Obligatory T&C buzzkills: If winners don’t respond within 48 hrs I’ll draw a new one, if one of your entries is found to be invalid then all your entries will be forfeited, so don’t do that, and while I’ll try my hardest to make sure that everything gets to the winner safely, I’m unable to replace any lost/damaged packages or cover any potential customs charges upon arrival in your country. 

And…you can enter below. Play nice.

Win a Fun Factory ShareVibe, Julian Snelling plug or Rodeoh PKG short!

Win a Fun Factory Jam, Jazzie or Joupie!

Win a Tantus Pelt, Dominix heart paddle, nipple sticks or 10m of hemp rope!


  • Cherry
    October 26, 2014 - 6:19 pm | Permalink

    Happy Belated blogiversary :D ! xx

  • October 26, 2014 - 11:09 pm | Permalink

    What great options, I’m going to reblog on tumblr.

  • brad b
    October 27, 2014 - 12:26 am | Permalink

    Keep up the good work.

  • October 28, 2014 - 4:15 pm | Permalink

    Great giveaway! Utterly swooning over the ShareVibe & JS Plug :3

  • Pingback: apricot creams sex toy reviews | i like fruit & fake dicks » Review – Fun Factory Share Vibe strapless strap-on

  • Maarten B
    October 29, 2014 - 9:23 am | Permalink

    Great giveaway, nice choices! It seems you have something for everyone

  • MLeen
    October 30, 2014 - 3:50 am | Permalink

    Whoa, these prizes are enticing. Especially the Rosebud plug. That site has always induced obscene and lewd desires in the very cockles of my heart, soul, and rectum.

    I will say, I’m a Canadian entrant, but, on the extremely off chance that I won any one of the EU-exclusive prizes, I’d be more than willing to take care of the shipping costs. If, of course, that’s peachy with you (yes, I am aware that you said as much in the above post, but I’m compelled to demure here).

    Anyway, despite having only stumbled upon your blog last week, or so, I’ve enjoyed every single one of your entries. Post more, giveaways or no!

    • A C
      October 30, 2014 - 1:41 pm | Permalink

      The Rosebud plugs are absolutely gorgeous and I’m very excited for whoever wins it!

      Yeah, that’s totally fine – the EU only prizes are open to anyone outside the EU who can chip in a little just because they’re so heavy and the price of postage goes up depending on how valuable the thing you’re posting is! And thankyou, that’s sweet.

  • Pingback: apricot creams sex toy reviews | i like fruit & fake dicks » Review – Julian Snelling small steel Rosebud plug

  • LL
    November 4, 2014 - 5:05 pm | Permalink

    It’s our 6 year dating anniversary on the 7th of November so we’d love to win something! :)

  • DB
    November 4, 2014 - 5:17 pm | Permalink

    Great giveaway! So many cool prizes!

  • ste silcock
    November 4, 2014 - 10:33 pm | Permalink

    good blog we love bondage

  • Trix
    November 4, 2014 - 11:31 pm | Permalink

    I think my first comment got eaten somehow…anyway, what a fantastic giveaway, thank you so much!

  • That Virgin Who Can't Drive
    November 5, 2014 - 12:37 am | Permalink

    What a great giveaway.

  • November 5, 2014 - 2:20 am | Permalink

    Oh my darlin’ Ohhh my daaaarlin’ oh my daaaarrlin apricot creams. I was lost and gone forever until I found you on twiiiitttter :D

    Good comment? ;)

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