apricot creams sex toy reviews | i like fruit & fake dicks

I was mainly attracted to the Double-O because of the colour. It’s a beautiful rich bottle green and when you hold it up to the sunshine it almost shimmers, it projects streams of lime green light onto the walls and if there were a way to keep it suspended in mid-air, like a classy version of one of those very early 2000’s hanging decorations that all my friends had stuck to their bedroom ceilings – I was jaw-clenchingly jealous of everyone who had those because my mum wouldn’t let me ‘wreck our house for the sake of a glitterball’ – GOD, mum – or maybe keep it perched regally on two tall pillars of glass? Pyrex? I would.

Unfortunately, I’m not clever enough to make either of those wildly impractical things so I just have to keep it in the lovely teal storage bag it came with. I can’t stress enough how ENTHUSED I am about it coming with a storage bag. I’m so over having to buy my own bags for things.

The Double-O is fairly slim, and measures just shy of 8 inches long. It’s got a distinct bend to it, each textured half curves upwards and with the bulbous ends it’s no surprise that it’s marketed mainly as a g-spot stimulator. The two textures each provide different sensations – one side has large, evenly spaced bumps, and the other a long, slender swirl. I’m not going to say it’s butt safe because it doesn’t have a flared base – I guess you could count the opposing bulb as a barrier of some kind, but I wouldn’t risk it. We all know how I feel about buttholes.

The Double-O surprised me in that I actually prefer the end with the swirls over the lumpy bumpy end. I’ve never actually owned a toy with swirls like this on before – is that weird? do I get my texture slut card revoked for admitting that? – and I love the ones on this dildo. The bumps are perfectly fine too, don’t get me wrong, they’re not abrasive or unpleasant by any means – slightly bigger and spaced further apart than the ones on my beloved Octopussy, and the curve of the Double-O means that it works way better for external stimulation than most straight toys do, and I prefer the bumpy end for that over the swirly end, but when it comes down to actually sticking this in myself – I choose the swirly/curly/twisty end every time.

The swirls are slim, but raised just high enough off the surface that I can feel really feel ‘em. This is a bit of a novelty to me – the one remotely curly dildo I previously owned was the Icicles 29, which has a swirly texture but it’s like, engraved into the surface of the toy as opposed to raised off it. It was disappointing. Anyway, the far superior twisty end of the Double-O does…things to my insides. Really good things. It doesn’t do anything particularly innovative, it doesn’t rub up on my g-spot like the Cush or Comet wand do – it just feels really, really good.

 I also found out that I can do this SUPER COOL THING with the Double-O – I can rotate it! It’s long enough to have room for my hand on the bumpy end (I was going to say ‘whichever end I’m not using’ but c’mon, when am I ever using the lumpy end inside of me, my love for the swirl is strong and unyielding), and if I pull my knees up or lie with my butt up, face down in the pillow I can turn rotate it in small circles, much like you would with one of those dildos with the tiny handles on and it. Feels. Incredible. Even if I do feel a bit like a sexy version of one of those creepy wind-up dolls while I’m doing it. The one thing I have to watch out for when doing my rotate-y thing is trying to avoid getting lube all over the other end, but I guess this is where latex gloves would come in handy.

Speaking of my g-spot, the Double-O doesn’t work for me as a toy specifically for g-spot stim. It should do – look at those bulbs! Feeeeeeeel the firmness! But it doesn’t, and that’s okay. Not every toy is going to do that for me. It does provide some stimulation, but I can’t seem to angle it right to get any more out of it. It’s just not a g-spot toy for me, it’s no Cush or Comet wand, but nor is my Tantus Splash, and I love that thing so much I think it might actually be the one sex toy I’d save if my house were on fire. Everything else feels so good that I can overlook that.

Cleaning’s a bit of a pain, as with all textured glass dildos, and I swear this glass picks up fingerprints more easily than any other glass toy I have. Maybe it’s because it’s higher quality or maybe it’s something to do with clarity or maybe it’s just the dark green showing up my greasy prints more than say, a clear or pastel toy.

A Touch of Glass – who go by EroticGlass on twitter, and their website is actually theglassdildoshop.co.uk – were nice enough to provide the Double-O to me in exchange for a review. I really can’t recommend them highly enough, and they have a huge array of toys to choose from! Also, they package their toys exceptionally well – mine was sent to me in a box literally filled to the brim with polystyrene pellets, which exploded out of the box when I cut it open and gave the cat her very own 30 second mini-festival. Although I am still finding them behind my desk, which probably says more about my cleaning skillz than anything.