Category Archives: pink

pink reviews silicone vibrator

Review – Nomi Tang Better Than Chocolate v2

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If the Nomi Tang Better Than Chocolate (version 2!) were a girl she’d wear bandage dresses and a lot of Kurt Geiger and have a city boyfriend. She’d have caramel hair, smell like vanilla and Miss Dior, make an effort to drink three litres of water a day and her favourite Naked palette would be the third one. She’d probably have a tattoo of an ampersand or a feather on her inner wrist. Someone well-adjusted and sleek and pretty and smart, someone that I can’t fault because the only things I don’t like are just up to personal preference.

The btc2’s shaped to fit against the human body, almost like a sleeker version of the Layaspot, and made from a buttery smooth pink or plum silicone. There’s a faint seam running around the sides, but I can only feel it with my thumb, and there’s a little tiny hole in the backside where you push in your charging jack. It’s USB rechargeable, waterproof up to a metre, and it also comes in cute packaging, for those of you who are into that. The manual actually asks to ‘please reuse the decorative box by storing nice things inside’. Aww.

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Review – Tenga iroha Sakura & Yuki

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The Irohas are obnoxiously adorable. Plush and palm-sized, they look like minimalist animations come to life and come in three different varieties – sakura (cherry blossom), midori (a little green thing. a leaf? a pear?), and yuki (snowman), each intended for a different purpose.

Getting the kind of stimulation I prefer out of vibrators is difficult for me; the one external vibe I’ve found so far that rivals my fingers is the We-Vibe Touch, thanks to that scoop shape it’s got going on. It’s like surround sound for my clit! I just wish it was softer because I like a shitton of pressure and pushing that scoop against my clit for twenty minutes feels great at the time, but then I wind up with bruised inner labia and that’s not fun. The Irohas, I think, seem to be aimed more at pinpoint stimulation using their respective tips, using a light touch to take full advantage of the silky soft ‘skin’.

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Icicles Rose (no. 12) glass dildo review

rosey66I’m going to be totally honest and say that the Icicles rose doesn’t really appeal to me aesthetically, it actually kind of reminds me of those cheap mock-Murano sculptures you find in like, the Home section of Sainsburys. But when I’m looking at something to stick in my vagina I’m not that concerned about whether I’d want to leave it out my bookshelf or not – although, coincidentally, I have done that. And everyone knew what it was, probably because they know me well enough to twig that I’d never buy something that looked like this unless it served a higher purpose.

The Rose is nearly eight inches long and fairly slim but it has a bunch of differing measurements thanks to all those bulbs – the girthiest part, the bud, measures 5″ around, the middle bulb 4″ around, and the bottom bulb 5″ again. The skinny bit, the stem I guess, thins out to 1″ directly under the bud and the piece above the fattest bottom bulb is 2″. It’s completely straight, has a flared base, no g-spot or p-spot bend, and any texture is restricted to the bud, which has sculpted petal detailing that’s good for clit stimulation. Allegedly.

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Tantus Cush 02 review

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I probably should’ve put a jumper on that wasn’t covered in paint before I took this. Sorry to ruin your big moment, cush.

The Cush is all kinds of adorable for something that’s seven inches long and so girthy that I can only just fit my whole hand around the widest part. I received mine in the candy colour, which looks like someone poured a carton of semi-melted strawberry sorbet into a dildo mould and let it set, and as it’s from Tantus’ dual density O2 line it’s got this plush outerlayer that’s especially squishable (is that a word? I’m making it a word) at the tip – I can pinch and prod at this thing all day! It’s like one of those desktop stress relievers, except it’s phallic and you put it in your various orifices. For stress relief. And orgasms.

The Cush is a chubby little cutie – it measures just shy of 6 inches around over the bulgy tip, the prominent ridge midway down the shaft and at the base, where it feels firmest and the outerlayer is thinnest. It’s safe for butt stuff and even fits into my RodeoHs, but it causes major sagging and I have to wander around with this piece of semi-translucent silicone dangling between my thighs like a cowboy. The soft matte silicone attracts every bit of dust within a two foot radius, although not as badly as my other, shinier, grippier Tantus toys do (Goddess & Splash), but I would not advise an impromptu dildo-blowie unless you’ve just given it a good rinse. Even I don’t know why I keep doing that, you’d think I’d know better by now but I guess all my primary school teachers were right and I’m doomed to go through life getting lint in my mouth one way or another.

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Lelo Mia 2 review (or, we rly need a Lelo x MAC collab)

mia2The Mia 2 was very kindly sent to me by Barbara Kelly.

The Mia is soooooo pretty. In fact, it’s soooooo pretty that I thought about setting up one of those ridiculous photos for it, where you have a beautiful buttery-soft leather handbag lying on its side, with a brand new lipstick spilling out next to a nail polish in a corresponding colour, then something totally irrational, like a fresh flower or a pearl necklace, and in the middle of it all, your luxxxury clit vibe, inexplicably without a storage bag and somehow completely intact and free from cat hair/lint/general dirt. Who keeps a £15 lipstick knocking around in the bottom of their bag anyway? I don’t care how well groomed or neat you are, if you keep doing that one day you’ll stick your hand in there to feel around for your wallet or something and come out with the tips of your fingers covered in Creme d’Nude or Ruby Woo or whatever it is that floats your fancy lipstick boat. I like Morange, personally. Why don’t I live in a world where I can match my sex toys to my mouth?*

 

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