Category Archives: butt stuff

butt stuff multi pink silicone

Review – Blush novelties naughty & naughtier candy heart plugs

kfkfkfI don’t share aesthetic preferences with my partners. Dream babe likes low tables, enough houseplants to ensure that there is a distinct trace of green and damp soil under the regular house smell; vanilla perfume, smoke, fog seeping in from outside. A balcony, high ceilings. An ever-present bowl of sticky dates on the kitchen countertop. Post arranged in a neat stack. A select few pictures neatly mounted on the walls – mounted, not blu-tacked or hanging haphazardly from a blue ribbon, secured with novelty bulldog clips.

Until six months ago I had no less than four strings of half-working fairy lights looped across the top of my mirror. I think I might be allergic to order – I blutack anything and everything to the walls, there are half-finished pieces of work propped up everywhere, I wake up surrounded by pillows, cushions and two hideous knitted blankets and my houseplants aren’t the glossy, elegant versions my girlfriend favours, they’re hopelessly overgrown and spilling green fronds over my bookcase, my desk, hanging from the ceiling. I aspire to a home that looks like a cross between John Waters’s house and Nick Cave’s womb room with a touch of absurdly wealthy cat lady.

So when I got these plugs from blush in the post, I was overjoyed and she was repulsed. I sent her a picture and she texted back a simple ‘NO’. Well, then.

Despite what dream babe might think of them, they’re the stuff of my daydreams, cute and campy and silly – I feel like I should be starring in some blurry, rose-hued vintage porno when I’m holding them.


You get the idea.

Both the Naughty & Naughtier Candy Heart plugs (could we not have a shorter title, maybe?) are made of firm, buttery silicone and come in two sizes with three colour options – small and large, and yellow, pink, and purple, each with a different message cut into the base. The small naughty candy heart plug clocks in at 5 inches in girth at the widest point, with 4 inches of insertable length, and the naughtier candy heart plug is considerably larger at 6 inches in girth and 4.5 inches of insertable length.

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Tantus Twist plug review


Jesus christ. How have I managed this? A month without an update on either of my orifices? Aw, christ, I’m sorry, but I’m sure you’ll all be very glad to hear that I’ve just reviewed the Tantus Twist, a silky-smooth chunk of silicone shaped like a screw/Mr Whippy hybrid.

…Except, er, it’s not actually here – it’s a guest post over on the lovely Teal’s blog, who was kind enough to gift it to me, and you should pop on over and read it while you wait for me to get my next post up. Which’ll actually be posted here. Promise.

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Review – the Fun Factory Boosty


I’m a big fan of Fun Factory; their silicone can feel draggy and almost powdery at times, but I have to admire the company who came up with Flexi Felix, the caterpillar who feels most at home in your anal cavity, and who consistently make body-safe products in eye-searing shades of orange, blue, red, and green in addition to the industry standards of cerise, purple or baby pink. The Boosty’s the first butt toy I’ve tried from them – I’ve been told that the Bootie is the original, and the one I should’ve tried out first, but it sold out before I could get to it.

The Boosty is available in a choice of aquarium pebble turquoise and petrol black, and comes in sturdy, non-gendered packaging with a drawing of a butt on. The Boosty is the most girthy plug I currently own, with three irregularly stacked bulbs of slightly different circumferences; the top bulb measures just under 4 inches around, the middle being the thickest with exactly 5 inches of girth, and the bottom bulb measuring just under 5 inches. The stem thins out considerably to 1.5 inches of both girth and length, with the base being 3.5 inches long. The base-to-neck ratio is perfect, actually, it ensures that the whole things stays put and feels completely secure, no matter how overenthusiastic (there’s no such thing! use all the lube! all of it! squeeze that bottle until it squeaks!) you may have been with your lube application.

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butt stuff reviews steel

Review – Julian Snelling small steel Rosebud plug


I’ve wanted a princess plug for years. It’s like a fixation. I’ve been looking for an affordable option for what seems like forever and who’d have thought? I stumbled onto the Rosebud’s website (did you know that their range was so vast? because I didn’t) and guess who was having a sale! Within 5 days of picking out my colour and paying that €21,50 + €9 shipping from France, a brown cardboard box landed on my doormat.

My plug came in a tiny little velvet bag, which I have of course managed to break the drawstring on and cover in miscellaneous fluff in the month or so I’ve had it. The plug itself is TEENY. I know this is the ‘small’ version (from what I can gather, Rosebud plugs come in four sizes- small, large, XL and XXL) but this is truly pocket size. It’s shorter than a lipbalm tube, has a reassuring weight to it, and while being smaller than I thought it was, it’s my favourite shape for a plug to be, with an almost lollipop-like bulb, a tapered tip, a long skinny neck and a flared base.

I’ve never actually lost something up my butt, but I’ve read enough cautionary tales and had enough gruesome stories told to me by a pal who’s training to be a nurse to be extra super cautious; I pretty much view buttholes as distant, organic relatives of vacuum cleaners at this point.

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