A selection of resources – information on sex, gender expression and sexuality, sex toy information, and a couple of useful diy tutorials too. If there’s anything that you think should be here but isn’t, contact me!
Sex toys & sex toy safety
- Dangerous Lilly’s toxic toys page – a must read! Lots of suitably icky pictures and useful information about sex toy materials, and what to avoid, and a ton of links to get lost in.
- Dildology! Lots and lots and lots of info on toxic toys and why you should be concerned. Home of the famous ‘toxic Deen dick’ result.
- An interesting article from Bitch Magazine on the origins of silicone sex toys and feminist sex shops in America.
- Epiphora’s guide to sex toy gift-giving. Title says it all, really.
- FTMguide.org’s guide to packing and hard packing/harnessing. I have these bookmarked, they’ve been infinitely useful for me.
- Lorax’s legendary epic silicone post and their epic lube post. I refer to their hardness/softness silicone scale literally every time I buy a new toy.
- Queerie Bradshaw’s guide to choosing a strap-on harness. 30 pages of handy information (including info on both soft and hard packing!!) in a free pdf download.
- Gritty Woman’s great big guide to personal lubricants!
- r/sextoys – part moderated by Dangerous Lilly. A good place to go if you want a recommendation or help, but remember to read the sidebar first.
- Smitten Kitten’s bad vibes page. Go to the bottom and click on those updates. If you’re not repulsed by jelly toys after looking at this then I don’t know what to tell you.
- Check out Good Vibrations Sex Ed Series: How to Choose a Dildo if you’re a nervous newbie!
Sexual health, sexuality, gender expression & general A* sites to visit
- Autostraddle – ‘news, entertainment, opinion, community, & girl-on-girl culture’. Queer fam. I’m particularly fond of their anonymous sex toy reviews.
- Brook – UK charity providing sexual health services to people under 25. They have an excellent links page, too!
- Frisky Feminist Press – run by Lauren Marie Fleming/Queerie Bradshaw, Frisky Feminist is ‘dedicated to providing accessible, judgement-free, comprehensive sex education’, and hosts a variety of guides and classes.
- Hudson’s FTM Resource Guide – I’ve already linked to their guides to packing & harnessing, but it really is an invaluable resource with tons of how-to guides and general information.
- Pucker Up – Tristan Taormino’s ‘sex positive salon’.
- Queer Zine’s well-researched resources page for UK folk includes a ton of links to helplines and support groups from around the UK – not just London.
- Scarleteen – an exhaustive community-driven sex education resource on all things health, gender and sexuality.
- Trans resources masterpost – links to information on aesthetic issues, resources & general help.
- Vagina Pagina – a livejournal community that’s been running since 2001, this is a veritable font of information on everything concerning, er, vaginas. They also have an off-lj website here, which has a lengthy resources page.
If you’re feeling crafty – play safely!
- A master post of sorts from Submissive Guide – tons of links to tutorials on how to make varying types of bondage gear.
- A Roll in the Hay’s Screwvet/sex blanket tutorial.
- An in-depth article from Evil Monk on using pegs/clothespins for all kinds of consensual torture.
- Fetish Weekly – lots of interesting rope tutorials with lovely pictures.
- FTMguide.org’s simple packy harness pdf!
- How to make handcuffs from a belt. Super quick and easy to make – even I’ve managed it!
- How to make soft wrist cuffs with attached d-rings! The instructions require a sewing machine but if you have enough patience and a steady hand you could probably make these without. Diy bdsm has a few other great tutorials in addition to this one.
- Lori’s strapon rope harness tutorial. Very pretty and a good way to practice your rope skills.
- Midori’s scarf harness tutorial. I’ve used this a LOT and you can substitute scarves for whatever you’ve got handy – tights, socks…
- Pervocracy’s guide to making a basic strapon harness! This is a really useful tutorial because you end up with a functional harness that doesn’t dissolve after you’re done, it’s cheap to make (you can get all the materials in a hardware shop or on ebay), plus you don’t need to have a textiles degree to finish it.
- r/BDSMdiy – another subreddit with some interesting posts, good for getting ideas and ‘has anyone does this before?’