I was mainly attracted to the Double-O because of the colour. It’s a beautiful rich bottle green and when you hold it up to the sunshine it almost shimmers, it projects streams of lime green light onto the walls and if there were a way to keep it suspended in mid-air, like a classy version of one of those very early 2000’s hanging decorations that all my friends had stuck to their bedroom ceilings – I was jaw-clenchingly jealous of everyone who had those because my mum wouldn’t let me ‘wreck our house for the sake of a glitterball’ – GOD, mum – or maybe keep it perched regally on two tall pillars of glass? Pyrex? I would.

Unfortunately, I’m not clever enough to make either of those wildly impractical things so I just have to keep it in the lovely teal storage bag it came with. I can’t stress enough how ENTHUSED I am about it coming with a storage bag. I’m so over having to buy my own bags for things.

The Double-O is fairly slim, and measures just shy of 8 inches long. It’s got a distinct bend to it, each textured half curves upwards and with the bulbous ends it’s no surprise that it’s marketed mainly as a g-spot stimulator. The two textures each provide different sensations – one side has large, evenly spaced bumps, and the other a long, slender swirl. I’m not going to say it’s butt safe because it doesn’t have a flared base – I guess you could count the opposing bulb as a barrier of some kind, but I wouldn’t risk it. We all know how I feel about buttholes.

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