I think I might be allergic to traditional harnesses.
Like, I get it, I really do – they’re practical, and you can get bigger dicks in them. They don’t slip. Interchangeable O-rings! But they’re strappy and fiddly and I’m conflicted on my leather feelings and I hate g-strings and I don’t think I have enough of an ass to wear a jock style without feeling like Hank Hill and and and…no. Just no. Enter stage – the SpareParts Bella. The plushest, most femme harness I’ve ever laid eyes on.
The fabric the Bella’s made from is like a slightly thicker swimming-costume material but without the weird clammy feel. It feels very fluid, I suppose you’d say, and silky on the skin, with a bit of an unnerving Spanx effect – they pull me in at the hips and make my butt look all peachy and spankable. And it’s so comfortable. So, so comfortable – I’ve slept in this thing. It comes with four detachable garters and the cutout in the back frames butt cleavage like a fine painting.
A note on sizing: please stick to the size chart! SpareParts use a nifty sizing system based on moon phases, which sounds a bit woo-y but is actually unexpectedly accurate. Without getting too tiny violins and tell me about your childhood about it, I have a lot of body feelings – a funhouse mirror is an apt analogy – so obviously I completely ignored what the chart told me to do (get an L) and asked for an XL. Dickhead.
It’s not a total catastrophe, it just means that there’s a slight gap at the curve of my lower back, and the front is more prone to slipping when I’ve got a bigger toy in there. However, this is easily remedied by adjusting them to sit higher, nearer my waistline and less low-slung – which I think looks better on my body shape anyway. I’ve had no issues with it falling off my hips or sliding down when I don’t want it to, but when I’m standing up and walking around in it I can tell that it’d fit a little better if I had asked for a L. It’s just sliiightly too loose.
The Bella’s flexible O-ring seems to fit mid-size toys best, and by mid-size I mean the Tantus Goddess, Flurry, my Slow Drive fits in there nicely too, Vixskin Raquel & Mustang (although you might want to give your toy a wipe-down after you’ve worked it through, nothing kills the mood like a linty dick), even the Eternal Swan, a teeny tiny diminutive double dildo/vibrator sits in there happily.
Bigger toys, say, 6+ inches of girth, especially bulbous heads? Not so much. Trying to work the head of my Cush through it felt like pushing a baseball bat through a mousehole.
Switching your cock out mid-fuck isn’t as easy as it would be with a traditional harness, but with underwear style harnesses it never is. I’m not saying it’s difficult, because it’s not; it seems to mostly depend on the texture and size of what you’re using, actually. I have to wrestle a bit with my Raquel, whereas my Flurry pops out easily.
Despite frothy appearances, the Bella is built for fucking, and has a layer of thin, soft mesh behind the O-ring to prevent the base of your toy thwacking you in the pelvis and sticking, and two (!) vibe pockets – one above the O-ring, and one vertical, under the O-ring, meaning that the two of you get clit stimulation. Why doesn’t every harness come with this feature?! An issue most people seem to have with underwear harnesses is that they give them less control but I’ve honestly never had this issue with it; the O-ring doesn’t give a dick as much ‘perk’ as a metal one would, but I certainly don’t feel like I’m flopping about all over the place and slips are near-nonexistent.
As functional as it is pretty, the Bella even washes well. The house I live in has an ancient old washing machine that lives in the cellar (I believe it said ‘comes fitted with modern amenities’ in the ad) that’s fond of eating all your expensive lingerie and spitting it back out in a jumble of torn silk and matted lace, but Bella has gone through multiple times and come through unscathed. I can’t recommend this harness highly enough – it has two vibe pockets, it’s beautiful, practical, actually works, can fight an ageing washing machine and win…I’m in love.
The lovely people over at SpareParts supplied me with the Bella in exchange for a review, and I’m eternally grateful to them for doing it and bringing this piece of dreamy high femme kit into my life. Thanks guys! If you’d like to buy your own, you can get one from Shevibe or direct from SpareParts!
PS – sorry about the weird pictures in this review, I only ever seem to be at home when the light’s shifting.