Review – Fun Factory Moody G5 & Fun Factory Cayona

moody/FUN FACTORY MOODY – 4″ insertable, 5.25″ inches in girth at the widest point, $99/139€

Not gonna lie, when I unwrapped my review package from Fun Factory and saw the Moody’s happy little silhouette staring up at me I might’ve felt my heart sink a little bit. It’s not my bag. It looks like it’s wearing a strange peplum getup and it has that dreaded birdy beak thing going on at the tip, a cheap party bag vibrator hallmark and something that I’ve found to be at best ineffectual and at worst, scrapey.

I want to be able to say I was wrong because I love being surprised and there are so many rave reviews for this wobbly little weirdo, but the Moody actively disagrees with my insides. There’s no two ways about it – sometimes you meet toys that literally hate your guts, and this is one of them. The poky little tip feels like it’s rummaging around in my guts, somehow missing my g-spot at every turn, and the ribs on the shaft grate and roll against the top wall of my vag in a way that I can only describe as visceral.

The silicone on the Moody seems to be draggier than the kind on the Cayona and I’m speculating that this is why it feels so deeply unpleasant; I have to use way more Sliquid Sassy (my first choice for Fun Factory’s curiously gritty silicone) than I do for the Cayona and I seem to be one of the only sex bloggers in the universe whose enjoyment isn’t upped by spraying lube everywhere with wild abandon. It’s just more faff than it’s worth.

On the plus side, Fun Factory’s button design is spot on as always (DEDICATED KILL SWITCH YEEEE) and the vibrations on the Moody are rumbly and ramp up to a thumping high speed on the highest continuous setting. They manage to travel all the way through the bulk of the silicone including that bizarre looking ruff at the base, which in my opinion is the Moody’s saving grace; using it internally might make me cringe, but rotating the ruff against my clit sets me up for one of those orgasms that go all the way down to my toes. That said, I still can’t recommend the Moody based on the fact that it gives satisfying external orgasms. Lots of things do that! It’s $99! You know what else you can get for $99? A killer bullet, or slap an extra $30 down and get yourself a bedroom icon. Sorry Fun Factory – I feel like the mark was heavily missed on this one.

Where to buy – Shevibe / Good VibesFun Factory

cayona/FUN FACTORY CAYONA – 4″ insertable, 4.7″ inches in girth at the widest, £69/$99/69€

The Cayona wouldn’t look out of place on sale or used in an educational demo about self pleasure at yr local Women’s Fest and what I mean when I say that is it absolutely looks like a vulva. It’s got a little clit to go on your clit! Labial folds! It’s very, very pretty and being a certified Pussy Enthusiast I desperately want to be able to blindly rec it but unfortunately I caaan’t because y’know, trustworthy reviews, having standards, etc.

One word I’d use to describe the Cayona is manageable – the texture is interesting but not so much so that it’s abrasive or too much, the size makes it co-operative on days where it feels like my cervix is really low and the silicone isn’t super soft but it does have some flex to it. It’s gentle. I’ve managed to use it when I had a menstrual cup in which is something that has never, ever happened before; attempting to use toys like that usually feels obstructive and uncomfortable but the tapered tip, flex, and overall petite size of the Cayona makes it ideal for rag week shenanigans.

cayapussThe vibrations are essentially the same as the ones on the Moody as they lean rumbly and because they travel throughout the bulk of the vibrator, not just concentrated in the base or the tip, it means it makes a mean external vibe. Slicking a little bit of coconut oil into the central dip and gently pressing the full length of it across my cunt makes for a chill ~masturbation experience~ or just utilising the tip like a big, wiggly pinpoint vibe.

In regards to the dual stimulation factor, the Cayona doesn’t touch my clit in a way that’s anything exciting or special and the shape obviously doesn’t provide the kind of thumb-like full coverage I prefer but I can still come with it in the same way I can come from getting railed from behind with a pillow under my hips. It’s not proof that whoever’s doing the railing’s blessed with the magic touch, it’s just that I’m being repeatedly bumped into something and after long enough it’s gonna happen.

In my eyes, the Cayona’s a bit like the 2am kebab of the vibrator world. It does the job and it’s a pretty good time, but something else could’ve done it better (12″ stuffed crust with every topping my drunk ass is still capable of pronouncing). If you’re specifically after a short, slim vibrator with rumbly vibrations and some unusual but not scary texture this could be a frontrunner, but I wouldn’t get too hung up on the idea of this little thing being able to hit your clit and your internal bits at the same time. I say that about every rabbit but I’m only so insistent cause it’s true; imo you’re nearly always better off using two separate things at the same time, but if you’ve got your heart set on a pretty little vibrator shaped like a pastel pussy then this is just about ideal.

Cayona – Lovehoney / Shevibe / Good Vibes / Fun Factory

Full disclosure – I was sent the Moody & Cayona directly from the team at Fun Factory in exchange for my honest review.

Review – Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable

Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable

Like a year ago I had a conversation with a friend that was essentially me trying to justify getting a tattoo of a Hitachi despite not having a Hitachi magic wand and I was swiftly and sensibly shot down but GUESS WHAT? I’VE GOT ONE NOW. I can do it! And I will do it, because I love this ugly piece of sex iconography more than nearly anything else I’ve immortalised on my skin.

The original hitachi is a piece of classic americana – it ranks up there with double cheeseburgers, picket fences and our lady Anna Nicole. The internet is inundated with the fucking thing: ask ‘I want a vibrator. what should I buy?’ on near enough any corner of the internet and you’ll get at least three responses citing the magic wand as literally the only solution to your plight. Go hitachi or go home, apparently. Of course I wanted one, but they’re no longer available in the UK so I just had to sulk and suffer and only occasionally debate the pros and cons of buying an almost-definitely-fake on ebay until the unthinkable happened: Vibratex announced that the original had undergone a series of fancy upgrades, now dubbed the Magic Wand Rechargeable (MWR). It was finally compatible with 240v. It could be used in the UK.

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Review – BS Atelier Alex

BS Atelier Alex BS Atelier Alex

My first phallic dildo was a purchase I instantly regretted: a gelatinous, luminescent purple jelly monstrosity with an unforgiving rock hard surface and a frighteningly sculpted set of veins. The BS Atelier Alex is none of these things.

The Alex by BS Atelier (or BS is nice) is 6 inches of gently curved silicone with a slim shaft measuring 3.5 inches around the base, widening to 4 and a half inches at the lovely bean-shaped tip. BS Atelier’s silicone is one of my favourites: soft and supple, it has a satin-y finish, glides freely and can be squished and bent while still keeping that keen upward curve. It’s also available in a variety of vibrant colours, mine being the terracotta orange variant but also coming in paint splatter and heart print (heart eyes forevaaaaaaah).

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Review – Fun Factory Miss Bi

Fun Factory Miss Bi

The Miss Bi from Fun Factory is a cute lil thing – short and squat with four inches of length (that’s it. like. it’s so short, I love it) and five inches of girth and looking a bit like an imac fucked a sea slug, it’s eminently adorable. It’s also the best dual stim toy I’ve ever tried. Remember way back when in my review of the Tiger G5, also from Fun Factory, where I lamented that it didn’t quite knock the Ina Wave off the top spot? This one’s done it. I didn’t even need to wrangle my ankles behind my ears or anything! It just works.

I’m sure people are rolling their eyes right now and yeah, it doesn’t look like much of a showstopper – in fact, it looks like it shouldn’t work at all, and when Fun Factory sent me it I felt a little ‘oh no’ twinge in my ribcage. Oh god. Why is it wider at the base than the tip? Why is it so short? Fun Factory, what are you doing? Is this the beginning of the end? Needn’t have worried, though – the thing’s like a silicone love letter to my masochistic downstairs.

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Mini review – BS atelier tente plug


This review is a mini-review not because this toy is boring or underwhelming, but because it’s so inoffensive that reviewing it feels like a chore. I have wanted the Tente plug for a very, very long time and now it’s here and it’s just as good as I expected: a great, basic-ish plug. There’s literally nothing I feel uncertain about, no bizarre copy, no awkward media fanfare, no overblown claims or extravagant price point – it’s a good plug. It is a humble plug. I wish there was more BS in the world.

The silicone that BS use is one of my all-time favourites – it has a glossy, vibrant finish, attracts dust like the plague, and is delightfully pliable and soft while still retaining shape and definition. It feels exactly like a block of jelly, and while I don’t think BS Atelier make dual-density toys (in my dreaaaamssss) I’ve recommended their stuff before to people looking for something similar in firmness to Vixskin but with a lower price tag.

I’ve been leering at the Tente from a distance forever, basically, but owned the Capsula first – I had high hopes, but found that the neck was slightly too short and it felt clumsy inside me. The Tente suffers from this too, but it’s not so bad and can be easily overlooked because it’s slimmer and tapered, unlike the thick, pill-shaped Capsula. Speaking of it being slim, at four inches tall and four inches in girth the Tente is one of my smaller plugs and while the size is great for people who’d put themselves firmly in the ‘beginner’ category, I wish it were bigger; the silicone is so gentle that I think I could handle another inch or two or three without much difficulty – who knows? My asshole is magnanimous. It fears nothing but mediocrity.


I hope that I haven’t led any of you to believe that I’m a tidy person cause that’s like, a flagrant falsehood

The Tente is sort of what I’d imagine a silicone pure plug to feel like – non-intrusive, subtle, and working with my body. Some buttplugs make me acutely aware of their presence because of their size or shape or the media they’re made from and I still get that weird psychological thrill from them, but the Tente isn’t one of them. Instead it just chills out in my butt, not doing anything particularly interesting until I actually want it to; wearing it while I’m getting fucked or fucking myself (the round base is a little awkward but it’s not anything dick-wiltingly bad) or smushing vibrators against my clit, the base, wherever. It upgrades things that were already good to great.

I know this review is short, but I honestly can’t think of anything else to say: the Tente is functionally perfect and while I wish it were bigger, I don’t have a single complaint. It comes in pretty colours, it’s body-safe both in the sense that it’s made from some fantastic silicone (this is an icky jelly rubber free zone, in case you hadn’t noticed) and in the sense that there’s no risk of the whole shebang sliding up into your actual anal cavity courtesy of that big ol’ base, it’s well-proportioned and importantly, it feels good. Like, my main point here is it’s a plain good toy and if you have an asshole that likes stuff in it there’s a decent chance you might like the Tente, too. Have I driven that home yet? I hope so.

I was sent the Tente plug from the nice folks at BS atelier in exchange for a review! You can buy your own directly from their shop, or from Shevibe.

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