Category Archives: vibrator

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Review – Lelo Hula Beads

August 17, 2014 – 8:22 pm

hulahulahula

I think I might be fundamentally missing the point of the Hula Beads.

I’ve never been one for ‘love eggs’. It’s such a married-with-2-kids-and-a-silver-car thing – ‘hubby controlled this egg while we were in Tesco! it was such a turn on! lol!’ and all the ones I’ve experienced so far have been noisy and ugly. The Hula Beads are neither of these things, but they still didn’t work out for me. I’m starting think that I should stick to Lelo’s regular line in future, because me and this Insignia line just aren’t getting along like we’re supposed to.

Even though purple’s my least favourite colour, I’ve got to admit that the Hula Beads are ridiculously gorgeous. I have the deep rose set, and it’s a vampy, rich fuchsia offset by gold accents. I’m a total sucker for Lelo’s silicone; satin-smooth, it feels almost velvety, barely picks up dust, and covers the rigid inner workings with a silky, waterproof shell. They feel reassuringly sleek and weighty, but are let down a little by the highlights, which are disappointingly just gold-painted plastic. C’mon, Lelo – surely the £120 price tag warrants actual metal and not spraypainted ABS?

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Review – Nomi Tang Better Than Chocolate v2

July 29, 2014 – 7:48 pm

btc21

If the Nomi Tang Better Than Chocolate (version 2!) were a girl she’d wear bandage dresses and a lot of Kurt Geiger and have a city boyfriend. She’d have caramel hair, smell like vanilla and Miss Dior, make an effort to drink three litres of water a day and her favourite Naked palette would be the third one. She’d probably have a tattoo of an ampersand or a feather on her inner wrist. Someone well-adjusted and sleek and pretty and smart, someone that I can’t fault because the only things I don’t like are just up to personal preference.

The btc2’s shaped to fit against the human body, almost like a sleeker version of the Layaspot, and made from a buttery smooth pink or plum silicone. There’s a faint seam running around the sides, but I can only feel it with my thumb, and there’s a little tiny hole in the backside where you push in your charging jack. It’s USB rechargeable, waterproof up to a metre, and it also comes in cute packaging, for those of you who are into that. The manual actually asks to ‘please reuse the decorative box by storing nice things inside’. Aww.

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Review – Fun Factory Pearly deluxe mini vibe

June 24, 2014 – 11:12 am

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The Pearly (doesn’t it sound like a missing Pink Lady?) is part of Fun Factory’s line of mini vibes – fairly self explanatory, they’re a range of nine vibrators of diminutive shape and stature that happen to be ‘perfect for your handbag’. Y’know. Just in case you need a wank on your lunch break. This one happens to be a rabbit style, comes in two delicious colours: candy green* and grape, is rechargeable via a USB click-n-charge system, fully submersible and has a TRAVEL LOCK. Great, right?

Fun Factory’s controls are definitely my preferred kind – clacky buttons! A dedicated on/off button! Tons of functions! TRAVEL LOCK! Like, I’m not even a pattern person, I usually skip right through, but these are a little bit more imaginative than your average pulse-pulse-pulse, even featuring something called a ‘razzle dazzle’ sequence that feels exactly like it sounds – like a team of tiny jazz dancers tip-tapping their way around my vag in the best way possible. Never change, Fun Factory.

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Review – Tenga Iroha mini (sora-mikan)

June 2, 2014 – 3:41 pm

iroI wanted to love the iroha mini so hard.

It’s cute! It’s tiny! Even the packaging’s well-designed! It’s body-safe, discreet, and easy to travel with because it looks absolutely nothing like a sex toy and the battery’s easy to remove. It’s relatively quiet, ridiculously cheap and waterproof. It comes in colours other than pink and purple. So far, so good, right?

I received the sora-mikan colour scheme, which is the one I was hoping for as it combines two of my favourite colours – a chalky sky blue on the bottom, and a juicy tangerine upper half. The bottom half’s made from ABS plastic and the top half from elastomer, which I don’t really get the point of – both surfaces feel pretty much exactly the same and the elastomer doesn’t make a huge difference concerning softness, plus this means I can’t use oil or silicone based lubricants with it. Boo.

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Review – Tenga iroha Sakura & Yuki

May 19, 2014 – 10:11 pm

squishies

The Irohas are obnoxiously adorable. Plush and palm-sized, they look like minimalist animations come to life and come in three different varieties – sakura (cherry blossom), midori (a little green thing. a leaf? a pear?), and yuki (snowman), each intended for a different purpose.

Getting the kind of stimulation I prefer out of vibrators is difficult for me; the one external vibe I’ve found so far that rivals my fingers is the We-Vibe Touch, thanks to that scoop shape it’s got going on. It’s like surround sound for my clit! I just wish it was softer because I like a shitton of pressure and pushing that scoop against my clit for twenty minutes feels great at the time, but then I wind up with bruised inner labia and that’s not fun. The Irohas, I think, seem to be aimed more at pinpoint stimulation using their respective tips, using a light touch to take full advantage of the silky soft ‘skin’.

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